Regretful
by MsArtheart
Summary: [CASSIOPÉIA x SIVIR][Sivir's PoV] Regret, deeply carved in Sivir's Soul... * Yuri – F/F * Warning: ANGST! ANGST EVERYWHERE AND TRIGGER ALERT FOR UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!


**Enjoy!~** [A gente fica mordido, não fica? / Dente, lábio, teu jeito de olhar...]

* * *

 **Regretful.**

Sivir is a warrior forged by the heaty sands of Shurima. She's independent, powerful, influential and she is feared by those who lived long enough to acknowledge her _"The Battle Mistress"_ title.

Sivir worked every expertise by her own efforts. In so young age she'd learned to embrace the Shurima Desert's challenges; to appreciate each golden grain of sand; to respect the past and histories of every ruins; to retells tales of each almost forgotten monument- She'd even learned how to interpret the innuendos in every mirage created under the intense heat. After all the years spent in the Desert she also developed a cherishable _love_ for this vast sandy space, strong enough to make Sivir consider Shurima her true home before even discovering her royal lineage.

Indeed, even recently taken notice of the imperial blood running in her veins, Sivir did not act like an extremist patriot who is fanatic about their homeland... Well, not like some of her equally wealthy acquaintances from others City-States among Valoran.

Not forget to mention that Sivir is indeed a skilled professional of her hired tasks and she doesn't feel ashamed by it. She have no delicacy about saying who she is, her purpose and her price. The tough Mercenary is blindly proud of her deeds... Well, **most of them**. Like many human beings, Sivir also made mistakes and bitterly regrets each error committed.

 _And the most painful of her mistakes haunts her dreams every night..._

If she could prevent her misfortune, she would never accept the tempting offer to serve Noxus; she would never had crossed her path with The Du Couteau family; she would never had any contact with such influential house and definitely Sivir would never had met Cassiopeia personally.

 _...Cassiopeia…_

 _The sound of that name send shivers down her spine.._

It always did, if Sivir allows herself to be honest. The difference of the past from nowadays is the **feeling** that bring her shivers... No, it surely is not **fear**. Sivir fears nothing but The Desert itself. **Anxiety** neither. Sivir is known for her incredible confidence and concentration so nothing **impress** her so easily. The feeling isn't even **respect**. Sivir respects only her own gold and the gold she's about to take through negotiation or, on a rough situation, **by force**.

In fact, the sound of Cassiopeia's name only brings disgust and remorse now. A very different feeling from the past when Cassiopeia's name was the acronym of adventure, danger and vertigo. These three words that once defined the Noxian noble were all that matters to Sivir…

Well, until _The Battle Mistress_ realised her true and crude intentions.

If Sivir had heard her intuition, she would never let Cassiopeia persuade her with so deceptive words. The lack of nobility in the Noxian request is quite noticeable: her desire to dishonor Sivir's Desert by daring to explore and loot every treasure at the only forbidden tomb on Shurima due it's powerful curses and high level danger. Sivir would not lend an ear to her own _**ambition**_ , _but the promised reward were so irresistible…_ More irresistible than ever when recited by tempting whispers floating from plump lips belonged to the youngest daughter of the Du Couteau house, _so close to her ear_... Besides, Cassiopeia always knew how to press Sivir's buttons so damn well- -

...Just as expected, really. Cassiopeia is the queen of flattery, bargain and manipulation after all. Sivir also knew about Cassiopeia's reputation among the four corners of Valoran yet she lets herself get lured by the selfish desires of this insufferable Noxian snake.

 _Sivir just couldn't stop herself from playing this exciting Power Game..._

So together they faced the dangerous Shurima Desert decided to run deep into the Forbidden Tomb of Imperator Azir. No wonder why this is Sirvir's top list regret... If Sivir could ever foresee the possibility of being _stabbed_ by Cassiopeia and bleed until her _inevitable_ death, she surely would not allow herself to break the only unbreakable rule of her personal code of conduct.

 _Sivir would never let herself fall in love with the inner (and now outer) Viper Cassiopeia is._

Sivir barely noticed the unceasing pain of her open wound. What really hurts the most in Sivir's Soul is the betrayal from the one who had earned an _unwanted_ space in her heart a long ago. However, through sadness or joy, there are powerful laws giving order and balance to Universe. Said laws allowed Sivir to stand her urge to pass out enough time to behold the consequences of Cassiopeia's actions: She gazed with total disbelief at Renekton jumping out from his prison like a maniac; she saw Xerath rise in blue lights and rune magic like an unexpected thunder in the middle of the storm and, moreover, she witnessed the fall of Cassiopeia Du Couteau.

The Battle Mistress witnessed with wide open eyes each magic snake burns Cassopeia's flesh, devouring her alive with green light. If Sivir had enough time to think about what happened a few meters away, she would feel relieved by the fact that the one who's got cursed in such _unpleasurable_ way wasn't herself but the noble bastard named _Cassiopeia Du Couteau_. Sivir would even make a little remark about the fact that people can't trust their luck against a curse; that the Universal Laws of Cause and Effect are stronger than any selfish intent- - But what does it matter now? Sivir was just about to equally succumb a few feet away from her ex-lover.

 _What Sivir wasn't expecting is a blessing in disguise._

One of the greatest acclaims of the legitimate _Daughter of Shurima_ is her unrelenting willpower -equaled only with her exaggerated **ambition** -. If Sivir had had told before, she would never believe that she unconsciously gave her blood as a tribute to the Cursed Tomb while she was crawling aimlessly through the cracks of the long lost ruins of Azir Empire. Sivir was only being driven by her urgent wish of staying as far away as possible from the horrific scene.

 _She, most of all, coveted survival._

 _But everything has its price._

 _There, of course, could not be any different._

And the exchange for Sivir's life was to bring back to life the Ancient Emperor of Shurima; being saved by him when he carried her to the _Oasis of the Dawn_ and in her wake up discovers her true lineage. If it weren't for Azir to return Sivir's unpredictable act of revival his forgotten Empire, she would be mumbling in regret about not even being able to die in solitude amid such disorder.

 _...Well, speaking of regrets._

Now the Ruthless Mercenary is fated to endure her long distant relative for the rest of her prosperous life. Sivir will need to share some of her precious time with her _ascended ascendant._ She will be forced to listen to his archaic advices and unrealistic plans of rebuilding the long-lost Empire. Moreover, she will even need to pay her debt to Azir by helping him to settle into his new... Uh… Temporary **nest**.

 _Sivir couldn't think about a harsher punishment than this- -_

Well, yes, she did think about something worse than live a life listening to Azir's babblings. There's still a vast sea of regrets in her fortunate soul. Among all her notable mistakes, Sivir accepted one of the most prestigious offers she could receive in her entire life: Join League of Legends.

.. _.By the right price, of course._

There's no gold enough in the world that could take away Sivir's greatest regret. Not after finding out that Cassiopeia Du Couteau is in the same place where she naively hoped to find glory and _r-ironically_ \- peace. Sivir spent years after years fighting against her internal and external urges to forgive all the miserable deeds made by the Noxian reptile Cassiopeia become.

In the end Sivir gave up resisting Cassiopeia's undying banters and insults and taunts and provocations. She let herself sink in this _unnamed feeling_ only to please the unquiet _**lust** _crawling in her body and mind… Yes, Sivir regrets taking Cassiopeia once more; she regrets every single moment the fact she _**enjoys**_ getting preyed by Cassiopeia's fangs and claws- -

Getting lost in this highly harmful and dangerous addictive venom- -

 _By the Goddess_ , how fast Sivir become intoxicated by Cassiopeia... The mighty and feared Sivir feels regretful as ever and indeed refuses to admit it, but in this game of powers between her and her untrustworthy rival, Sivir is the one who lose **for real**.

 _Sigh. If regret could kill..._

 ** _Fin~_**

* * *

 ** _Uh... Sorry-not-sorry..._**

 ** _I have this old headcanon that Sivir was very close to Cassiopeia since the day she was hired by Noxus Forces and they developed this love-hate relationship among the years…_**

 ** _[No need to mention this is that kind of unhealthy relationship, right? RIGHT?]_**

 ** _[Also, this fic is based on the 2014's Shurima Lore/ old Jornal of Justice entries / League Judgement. So It's not related to the new "chinese riot game" ones...]_**

 ** _Anyway, I am pretty sure that Cassiopeia will get her attention from me too, 'kay?_**

 ** _Just gimme time to fisnish it XD_**

 _ **Ps: For those who feels curious about the original PT-BR 2014 Fiction, "Arrependimento" is the title~**_

 ** _(191014)_**


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